I’m going to focus on the three parts of this quotation that I must pay attention to in my own life.
“Whatever you choose.” I must remember that not deciding is still deciding. It is not possible for me to stay in a place of victimhood when I realize that I am in my current situation because of my choices. By not making changes, I have decided to leave things they are.
“Who you are.” I am finally starting to understand who I am. For most of my life, I was completely unaware of some aspects of myself, and others I disowned because I didn’t like them. Now that I can finally start to see who I am, I can make conscious changes. I can recognize the traits that I want to nurture; I can let myself see the parts of myself that I want to change. By seeing both sides of myself I can begin to mold myself into a better version of me.
“A power that is greater than ourselves.” Although I have always considered myself a spiritual person, I had an unconscious belief that if I could control myself, my environment, and others, then I could be safe. I am now a Control Freak in recovery. I must watch myself, the way an addict must. If I am stressed in any way, I will be tempted to control. Fortunately, I often catch myself, or my loved ones will help me see what is happening. When I can stop trying to control, and truly know that a power greater than myself is in charge, anything is possible.
So, to turn Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s beautiful phrase into a clumsy one, I will say “I will always continue the climb. It is possible for me to do whatever I decide, if I can recognize my traits, and am willing to know that I am not in charge and to turn over the reins to my higher power.”
– What have you chosen in life? Which choices were active choices, and which were passive? Are there choices you have made that you were not aware of until now? Are there changes you would like to make?
– Who are you? How well do you really see yourself? Do you see only the “good” stuff? Or only the “bad?” What can you do to get a more well-rounded picture of yourself? How can you own the parts of yourself that you don’t like, without shame? And how can you own the parts of yourself that you are proud of, without feeling guilty for being prideful?
– Do you have a power that is greater than yourself? If so, how do you define that power? What is your relationship with it? Are you able to turn your life over to it, or do you still find yourself controlling every minute detail of your life?