Healing with Crystals: Fact or Fiction?

Crystal Healing

We don’t know when the use of crystals began; what we do know is that crystals have been used for a variety of purposes over the millennia. Why are we so drawn to crystals? What are the healing properties of crystals? Do crystals really work?
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Coaching and Therapy: What’s the Difference?

Torrance Ca, Life Coaching

Coaching and Therapy: What's The Difference? If you’re unsure of the difference between coaching and therapy, you are not alone. After all, they have similar concepts and are geared toward achieving the same result—helping a person feel better.
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What is a Spiritual Life Coach

Torrance Spiritual Life Coach

With the help of a Spiritual Life Coach, you can identify the steps you need to take to achieve your goals, remove limiting factors, and change any beliefs that stand in your way. A Spiritual Life Coach approaches these tasks in a deep, holistic way.
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Thriving in Times of Change

Reiki and life coach Torrance California

How do you feel about change? Most of us feel at least a little nervous about change, especially when it’s being pushed on us. I used to have a manager who would say “when the wind changes direction, you just have to adjust your sails.” I remember how I felt when he said that: dismissed, controlled, and even more nervous than I had been before.
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The History and Benefits of Reiki

Reiki Training Classes Torrance

The term Reiki comes from a combination of two Japanese words—Rei and Ki. The Japanese language incorporates different levels of meaning, so direct translation is difficult. A simple translation of the words is that “Rei” means miracle or spiritual guidance, and “Ki” means Universal Life Energy. Combined, they translate to miraculous, or spiritually guided Universal Life Energy.
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Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it. –Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Always continue the climb
I’m going to focus on the three parts of this quotation that I must pay attention to in my own life.

“Whatever you choose.” I must remember that not deciding is still deciding. It is not possible for me to stay in a place of victimhood when I realize that I am in my current situation because of my choices. By not making changes, I have decided to leave things they are.

“Who you are.” I am finally starting to understand who I am. For most of my life, I was completely unaware of some aspects of myself, and others I disowned because I didn’t like them. Now that I can finally start to see who I am, I can make conscious changes. I can recognize the traits that I want to nurture; I can let myself see the parts of myself that I want to change. By seeing both sides of myself I can begin to mold myself into a better version of me.

“A power that is greater than ourselves.” Although I have always considered myself a spiritual person, I had an unconscious belief that if I could control myself, my environment, and others, then I could be safe. I am now a Control Freak in recovery. I must watch myself, the way an addict must. If I am stressed in any way, I will be tempted to control. Fortunately, I often catch myself, or my loved ones will help me see what is happening. When I can stop trying to control, and truly know that a power greater than myself is in charge, anything is possible.

So, to turn Ella Wheeler Wilcox’s beautiful phrase into a clumsy one, I will say “I will always continue the climb. It is possible for me to do whatever I decide, if I can recognize my traits, and am willing to know that I am not in charge and to turn over the reins to my higher power.”

Journaling questions:

– What have you chosen in life? Which choices were active choices, and which were passive? Are there choices you have made that you were not aware of until now? Are there changes you would like to make?

– Who are you? How well do you really see yourself? Do you see only the “good” stuff? Or only the “bad?” What can you do to get a more well-rounded picture of yourself? How can you own the parts of yourself that you don’t like, without shame? And how can you own the parts of yourself that you are proud of, without feeling guilty for being prideful?

– Do you have a power that is greater than yourself? If so, how do you define that power? What is your relationship with it? Are you able to turn your life over to it, or do you still find yourself controlling every minute detail of your life?

My goal in life is to be as good a person as my dog already thinks I am. –Source unknown

My goal in life
I’ve had a lot of pets in my life. I’ve always been a good pet mom. I don’t take my frustrations out on my animals; in fact, I allow them to comfort me when my life is less than perfect. It’s easy to be good to my animals. They love me unconditionally. They mostly do what I want them to do (at least when I’m looking). I’m very glad they don’t understand some of my interactions with the humans in my life.

The humans in my life are often the recipients of my lousy feelings. I take things out on them because I can. Besides, sometimes they’re the ones I’m upset with anyway. Probably because they didn’t do something I wanted them to. Or they did do something I didn’t want them to. Or . . . were simply less than the absolutely perfect people who always put my needs ahead of theirs. Of course, if they did that, I’d quickly become bored with them, and take that frustration out on them! Perhaps sometimes the people I share my life with are in a no-win situation.

If I could be as good a person as my pets think I am, I would be a pretty awesome human being. I would be patient and kind. I would show my love lavishly. I would give treats of the human variety. I would redirect people gently when required, and be accepting of their learning curves. I would understand that they were doing the best they could. And I would know that sometimes what they need doesn’t fit well with what I need. And I would let it go, or at least talk it through in a civil manner. After all, I think the people in my life deserve the best side of me, too.

Journaling questions:

– Have you ever had a pet? Or played with someone else’s pet? What were you like when you were surrounded by all that doggy, or kitty, or hamster, or _____ love? Did it bring out a softer side of you? Can you imagine why that was? Or, if you took your frustrations out on an animal, how did it respond? And then how did you feel?

– What people come close to giving you unconditional love? How do you feel when you realize you are receiving it? Do you feel good, and safe? Are you glad? Does it bring up fear, because it might stop? Are you ashamed, because you don’t think you are worthy of unconditional love? Or . . . perhaps you have never experienced unconditional love from a human, even fleetingly. What is that like for you?

– How can you be more loving with the people in your life? More gentle and accepting? What changes need to happen in you to allow you to live more gently with others? And when you need to draw boundaries, how can you do that in a way that honors the other person?

Never lose an opportunity of seeing anything that is beautiful, for beauty is God’s handwriting. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

There’s an old saying that we need to “stop and smell the roses.” Someone who loved me used to frequently remind me of that saying. And although I knew her intentions were good, I often ended up feeling irritated. For one thing, it felt like a judgment. Like I SHOULD be doing something differently. For another thing, I thought I was trapped in the crazy hamster wheel of my life. To some extent, I truly was trapped. My life circumstances kept me overscheduled and overwhelmed with responsibility. The moments I could slow down, my brain kept running a mile a minute. I didn’t know how to find inner peace.

The pain of my crazy life finally outweighed the benefits, and I realized that the only one who could slow my life down was me. I had to let go of some things, and face the consequences of doing so. Now, my life is very different. Some would think I was better off before. I know that’s not true. I am still busy, but I no longer feel trapped. And even in my busiest times, I still see beautiful things, for my life is filled with them. I only need to stop, breathe, and open my eyes. And when I do so, when I see the beauty that is God’s handwriting, I also remember that Spirit is with me at all times. And I know that I am blessed.

Journaling questions:

– Do you recognize the beauty that is around you? How do you define beauty? Is your definition of beauty narrow, or is it broad? Can you find beauty in the mundane? In the yuck and muck of life?

– How do you feel about the tempo of your life? Is it too rushed? Do you find yourself under-stimulated and bored? Or have you found that place that Goldilocks found of “just right”? If you haven’t found your “just right” place, how can you begin to uncover it?

– Are there changes that you need to make in your life? Do you need more beauty? Do you need more time to notice the beauty that is there? Are you willing to face the consequences of making the changes that you need?

He who loves, flies, runs, and rejoices; he is free and nothing holds him back. –Henry Matisse

Billie, Janet, Rhea, Sheila
Sometimes I am able to love, fly, run, and rejoice. All at once. When I am able to do so, I feel absolutely limitless. I am sure this is the way I am meant to feel. Oftentimes I am able to love, fly, run, OR rejoice. It is easier for me to do some of these than to do them all together. When I love, I may also feel hurt or feel fear. Sometimes my rejoicing is bittersweet—it may be tinged with an awareness of someone who is hurting, or of the sacrifices I made to accomplish that which I am celebrating.

I find that the times I can love, fly, run, and rejoice simultaneously are the times when I am creating. I can be creating anything—an actual physical piece, a daydream, or simply co-creating a perfect moment with a loved one. Those times are when I am sure I can touch the sky. Those times are when the boundaries dissolve, and I am deeply aware of my connection to everything. My wish for myself is that I can allow myself the space and time to have more of these creative moments, for they cannot be scheduled; they bless me with their presence when I give them room to come in.


Journaling questions:

– When are you able to love, fly, run, and rejoice? What are the moments or circumstances or environments that allow you to feel that type of ultimate freedom?

– When do you find yourself unable to have such freedom? What gets in the way? Again—is it circumstance or environment? Even though the circumstance or environment may not be optimal, are there ways you can feel total liberation anyway? Are there ways you can break the limits of your physical situation and allow yourself to feel fully clear and open?

– When you do feel total freedom, how would you describe it? What are the feelings you have, both physical and emotional? Do you like those feelings? Do you trust them? Are there any unwanted thoughts or feelings that creep in as you connect with the idea off limitless personal freedom?

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and right doing, there is a field. I’ll meet you there. –Rumi

Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing
Do you have rulebooks for how people should live their lives? I certainly did. But, interestingly, they were situational.

I was always curious about other people; I genuinely wanted to know about them. When I was in my twenties and early thirties, I worked at major universities; therefore I had friends and acquaintances from all over the world. I would ask them questions which in retrospect were quite intrusive and perhaps even rude. But apparently they could tell my intentions were pure, and I was given tremendous amounts of information about other cultures, countries, and lifestyles. To this day I feel richly blessed to have been allowed to peek into ways of existence that I would have never known about had others not so generously shared their wisdom and personal stories with me.

But the people I shared my life closely with did not, unfortunately, get that same curiosity from me. I was quite judgmental. I knew what they should be doing, and how they should be doing it. If they did not meet my expectations, I let them know it. Part of this was learned behavior—we do as we see. But another part of it came from my own fears—if I let people in my life make their own decisions, I could get hurt. And so I controlled everything I possibly could. And of course I got hurt, because I ended up losing some very important people in my life.

Fortunately, I was able to learn from those experiences. I now imagine myself as being much more accepting of my loved ones. Would they agree, I wonder? And yet I am still human, and still have fears, and so I catch myself throwing my rulebook at people every now and then. My wish for myself and for those I share my life with is that I can put that rulebook down and meet them in the field of shared curiosity, acceptance, and respect. I hope to see you there.


Journaling questions:

– Are you aware of your own ideas of wrongdoing and right doing—of your rulebook? Where did that rulebook come from? Is it yours, or is it filled with rules you picked from your parents, your religious influences, or your part of society?

– Does your rulebook still fit you? Of course we have our moral and ethical compasses which we must follow—and at the same time our rulebooks can become very constricting if we are not careful. Are there rules you want to adjust, allowing a bit of flexibility? Are there rules you want to take out of the book altogether? Do some need to be rewritten?

– How do you feel when someone has a rulebook that is very different from yours? Can you accept that? If yes, does that come easily for you, or is it difficult? Does the level of difficulty connect to the topic, or is it across the board? And how do you feel when someone throws their rulebook at you?